kenapa takde yg paham?

so, currently there goes my baby - usher kept playing on the phone over and over again.
then lagu Three words - Cheryl Cole and Will.i.am tambah buat aku nanges.
well, me myself didnt get it why should i've been acting this way.
ya Allah. perasaan aku bercampur baur. ape maksud sume ni.
aku tak mampu nak nanges lagi. sbb aku tahu, its not worth it to cry fer him.
aku terluka bila fikir balek, nope, aku tak fikir pun, cuma it cames suddenly to my mind.
nana, why dun you get it hes not meant fer you syg.
i hate motivate myself with this not-so-sure feelings.
pergi, pergi bagitahu suma aku yg jahat, aku yg kotor, aku yg sebabkan sume kekacaun
ape lagi yg kaw nk musnahkan hidup aku hah?
by now mungkin bkn kaw yg seksa prasaan aku, tp aku sendiri yg seksa suma ni
bkn aku taknak lepaskan suma ni pergi, cuma aku tak mampu.
aku rase berdosa seksa diri macam ni, i need you in my life.

i just need someone to be there next to me, wipe my tears, lend his shoulder when im down,
keeping me warm when im in tense.
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. but is it true that , sadness flies away on the wings of time?!!
oh god, help me. help me finding the truth, the real me. im lost.
Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. and not fer me pls.
i dont want you to go. i cant, as in not that i never try, i tried,
seems it went so wrong when i do so.

ya Allah, kuatkan hati hambamu.
aku perlukan someone now to love me.

i took about one and half an hour to complete this short entry. huh.
ini sebab aku benci ble typing an entry while crying heavily.